Saturday, May 03, 2008

Rant: When Franchises won't die

I cannot say that I am the biggest Indiana Jones fan. I can't even really say I'm a fan. I'm much more a Star Wars person... But anyway, the point is, fan or not, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull had me scratching my chin for a long while.

For me, saying goodbye is usually a long and messy ordeal. When I see the last of a movie franchise that I hold dear to my heart, I get goosebumps, maybe I cry. It's emotional. It's like breaking up with someone you really truly love. 

So we say goodbye to Indy. It's the "Last Crusade". It's an excellent way to ride into the sun and never look back. We can all get on with our lives and look back and think how awesome that was, and how it shaped pop culture, etc... Except, they decide to add more icing to the cake and make a FOURTH installment?

My sweet tooth can only take so much.

I can relate this even more to the new Star Wars trilogy. Was it necessary? Wasn't it just abusing loyal Star Wars fans? I find the original trilogy so much more impressive, innovative, entertaining, and, well, amazing.
The new one is just George Lucas confirming our theories that he actually IS a pretty shitty screenwriter and director. His ideas are all there, but everything else lacks... Everything else.

Although I did genuinely enjoy The Revenge of the Sith, the other two were complete garbage and to this day I feel that Attack of the Clones is one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Thanks, Hayden Christensen.

Futhermore: I love Pirates of the Caribbean. But the first one mostly. I think it's perfection. It's the movie that rejuvenated my love of movies. I'm not even kidding. The movie singlehandedly shaped my entire life in ways I can't describe. But that's not the point. The point is that this movie was great, and it was great for what it was. It had a beginning and an end. But it made sooo much money and Johnny Depp finally became a widely recognized and acknowledged movie star like he always should have been. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley were hot up-and-comers and they could go on for ages. So they made a second one, basically taking what succeeded in #1 and stretching it thin and letting it sit out in the sun for too long. It sucked.

However, they (in my humble opinion) wholly redeemed themselves with At World's End. It was epic, the story was fresh, and it got me with the goosebumps. A fine finish.

But It's not finished. I hear murmurs of even more sequels. As in plural. Just put it to rest already! I've said goodbye, why do you need to stretch this out more so that nobody remembers it for what it originally was? Bloom and Knightley will not return. As they shouldn't. These characters' stories are finished. Why. Why do you torment me with more of this? It's just too much.

Lastly, I'm confronted with my favorite franchise (After Star Wars), Lord of the Rings. What a pitch-perfect trilogy. Excellently adapted, beautiful casted and shot. I can't say enough about it, and how much the movies themselves have shaped my life as a whole. The first viewing of Return of the King (the beginning of the end, as it were) left me in tears... An utter mess. Watching the extras on the Extended Edition DVD, I cried more. I like. How sad, this is all over. But it's done. And I can move on, but they will always live on in DVD format. And that's quite a comfort.

But now they are going to make The Hobbit. I can't help but think this is because of the overwhelming success of LOTR... For a long, long time, the question was, who would direct? Certainly, Peter Jackson MUST come back to direct. I, on the other hand, disagree. It's this whole goodbye thing again. I said goodbye, and so did they. How do you come back to something you already spent so long saying goodbye to? It's a waste of emotion, of energy...



So why won't they die? They all live good lives and then they are put to rest. Why does Film do this to me? Will I see the films? Of course I will. Will I like them? It's very possible, yes. But do I approve? No, I absolutely do not.
Just like saying goodbye to a great movie is like breaking up with an awesome boyfriend, having to witness a reincarnation of said great movie is like getting back together awkwardly with said awesome boyfriend, but it's just not the same relationship anymore.

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